Life after Trauma

One of the things I’ve constantly struggled with is when to let people in. Online relationships have a tendency of moving quickly; my last situationship was no different. He was a great guy on paper. He had everything I wanted in a future partner. I thought he was amazing, strong, resilient and respectful but I held back. There was something in my gut that told me I couldn’t trust this person fully. He had been put through some difficult times and the best way for him to get over them was to talk about it, to lay everything out there. That wasn’t the best way for me to handle my situation. I’ve learned to keep things to myself and gradually open up. This small difference in how we approached our past made a world of difference in what our future soon became. I grew frustrated that I carried not only my weight of past traumas, but now also his. I lost trust in my own ability to open up as I became increasingly concerned with his demons and how they would affect us. It became unhealthy because I felt like there was no room and space for mine. In my head, in my heart, in our relationship. The bad overtook the good. Do I miss him? Yes. Do I think we made the right decision by separating? Also yes.

Basically what I’m saying in this post is that, life after you experience any sort of trauma changes drastically. You’re going to have to adjust some things and really learn who you are and what you can and won’t put up with. Work on your boundaries (I clearly still am) and take things slow. It’s not going to be easy, but things do and will get better day by day.